I’ll pretend I didn’t fill in the blanks with rude words, like I’m some sort of mature adult or something. *snigger* *snort*
From there Jerry FallWell went up to Vermont. As he was walking along the road, some grandmas came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Go on up, you chicken fucker!’ they said. ‘Go on up, you chicken fucker!’ He turned around, poked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of a unicorn. Then two sloths came out of the woods and mauled 3.14159265 of the grandmas.
“They acted civilized because they had morals and values. They knew that selfish behavior is sin in the eyes of God. Unlike today where we’re taugth, “every man for himself.” This country has become morally bankrupt and is continuing to decline. It’s a change of heart that can turn things around. When we acknowledge God as Supreme creator. When we repent of our sin and ask Him for forgiveness and make Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. It’s mankind’s notion the he dictates and controls everthing that the Titanic sanked. The designer said, “not even God can sink the Titanic.” God had to prove him wrong.”—
Your god is a fucking douchebag, and you’re an idiot. Even if your god did exist, do you really think he would concern himself with proving some random boat captain wrong? Oh, that was his priority for the day? And then he sat back and smugly laughed to himself while everyone who didn’t make a statement against him suffered anyway? Yeah, your god is awesome.
“When a man has an emission of semen, he must bathe his whole body with water, and he will be unclean till evening. Any clothing or leather that has semen on it must be washed with water, and it will be unclean till evening. When a man has sexual relations with a woman and there is an emission of semen, both of them must bathe with water, and they will be unclean till evening.”—
…and Christians pretend that the Bible doesn’t say that sex is dirty.
When DeLaSalle senior Matt Bliss heard rumors that the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis planned to hold a mandatory school assembly to talk about marriage, and potentially gay marriage, he remembers thinking, “This is not going to end well.”
He was right.
“The first three-quarters of the presentation were really good,” said Bliss. “They talked about what is marriage and how marriage helps us as a society. Then it started going downhill when they started talking about single parents and adopted kids. They didn’t directly say it, but they implied that kids who are adopted or live with single parents are less than kids with two parents of the opposite sex. They implied that a ‘normal’ family is the best family.”
“If you have ever stopped at a red light, you are an atheist; because you’re not counting on God to not drive the fucking semi into the side of your fucking car. You are counting on common sense and logic. If you’ve ever taken a pill; if you’ve ever used science; if you’ve ever put a splint on your arm instead of having God save you; you, mother fucker, are an atheist. End of story.”—Penn Jillette (via counterfeitwraith)